Thursday, 6 June 2013

Reflecting On OVER A YEARS Job Search In Liverpool


These people in BOOTLE job centre.. the ones behind the desk..
their are a few who look right down their nose at you.. like ANDREW with the glasses and the iffy looking moustache... let me clue the WORKING WORLD in why theirs just NO FKN JOBS IN LIVERPOOL
let Alone Bootle.... this is the kinda f*cking SH*T they approve  right here...
   ALL GENUINE PRINTED IN BOOTLE JOB CENTRE...

Up First the job they love, the people you hate....
Here is a job posting for an "Employment Adviser"
this crap was clearly approved by the people who are said to not only get you work, but the same said people who have a JOB.. yet CAN'T DO IT RIGHT!!! 


I thought ide share this... as it just shows the sheer quality of Our Very Own "Employment Advisers"  These are ALL genuine print outs from Bootle job centre, its clear they need to hire Employment Advisers isn't it...  I mean who approved this ROFL

Swiftly moving on... (because clearly one is an accident right...  2 is a f*ckin joke, 3 is taking the p*ss) but yeah.. that's right.. you guessed it.. here we go again...



So this one, besides NO way to apply again.. notes your basically the cleaner.. the nappy changer.. the activities co-ordinator, the secretary.. the social worker... you'd need drugs just to fkn work their right?  why not gimi a chefs hat and i'll be the f*ckn cook to... or is that the one job you let your mum or auntie have?   also what's the AND.. drug testing AND... oo the list goes on with that one.  Night worker.. porter.. care assistant... you mean an RGN but with no paperwork so you don't have to pay RGN wages right?  HIRE SOME ACTUAL  STAFF YOU CHEEP FKN TW*T 
so that's £152.4 a week.. your rents like what? how much is your council tax.. 
and clearly someone's sleeping in.. but its NOT YOU.... YOU CLEARLY WONT HAVE TIME TO SLEEP

and next up...

Ok now we have a job that pays NOTHING...  awesome.. and for that honor you get to mill glass?  your also required to read measuring equipment?  ARE THEY ASKING OR STATING...  and wtf is  &nbsp  sounds like some kinda racist political party.. is this a petrol bomb making machine.  am i using blue prints to operate the machine because theirs NO manual for it, or making stuff from blue prints, please clarify.... THE WAGE because i just cant see £0.00 competitive at all
and 40 HOURS  (AVERAGE PER WEEK)  can we take a guess on a bad week its 48.. not 38 right?  it does NOT mention overtime.. so its either 40 hours a week at one rate, then overtime over 40 hours.. or its work till as late as WE say.. and Zero wage on top lmfao




Now dig this oldie..
You have NO job.. you have NO money and look what the cheaky fkrs want off you...
(and blatantly its commission based to)  this sh*t shouldn't even be allowed...




one would assume thats a Stock Broker.. its a fkn cold calling job over the phone.. hi can i.. hi can i.. hi can i.. hi can i just stop wasting my phone bill.. hi can i.. hi.. im.. erm.. wow you never hung up.. can i interest u in.. beep beep beep..   dam.. almost.. high can i..

also you know you fkn employers need to realise when adds get posted like  "OUR CLIENT IS LOOKING FOR A RELIABLE HARD WORKER TO JOIN A TEAM"
loosly translated.. some sly little c*nt wants 10/20 people to come work like slaves for 12 weeks so they can get some government funding.. mean while u cant sign back on after they lay you of for 7 days, because you been OFF the dole longer than 2 weeks, but not over 13 weeks, so you loose that bk to work bonus to

NAMES TO AVOID.. for further information please call Marie Maguire,  yeah her.. you may remember her from reed employment zone in bootle, scamming slaves into Dams International for 12 weeks, for that yanky slime ball john smith... Shes still out their touting for nob heads to hit agencys that just abuse you for 12 weeks then fk you off....  end up a month behind on rent, council tax and atleast 3 weeks with NO fkn money.. and you won't ever truly recover from working their IF you enterd that job after being unemployed for a couple of years.. it'll dam near kill you.. as for Fork Lift needed at dams... NOTHING comes in on Pallets.. inc them 80 filing cabanets.. now stand on this fkd pallet while we lift you in the air... LITTLE BASTARDS & A SLY LITTLE BITCH....  i ever meet you bitch and you are getting a slap.. your NOT a woman... so thats irrelevant.. your a fkn untrustworthy lying witch & you were sh*t canned from reed for your transgressions.. but clearly u never learnt.. guarantee some smack heads gona get you one day.. their bound to lmfao



so my back to work agreement.... I MUST Contact 4 employers a week, I MUST apply for at least 2 jobs a week,  sadly out of all my skills & tallents (and trust me im a fucking genius)

.. a fucking crystal ball isn't one of them
is their a Training Course for it and a badge?

OOO GOODY.. ANOTHER ACTUAL DOLE JOB...



Involve what exactly.. HTML coding and f*ckin web design? : /
get you ALL HYPED UP.. then loose the fkn plot....

A company as BIG as Vodafone.. cant even pay for a CRB let alone get it free for charity related purposes  ?



these dick heads want you to cold call abroad (COMMISION ONLY)

HI AUSTRALIA.. would you like to buy.. beep beep beep.. hi australia would you like to beep beep..   W*ankers cant even tell the fkn time.. 5am or 4.30.. 30 mins not much.. hold ya breath im counting.. 3.. 2.. 1  and go...



IE help us sell of the rest of the UK..

Ok another real old one for ya  2010...
(and this ones still available today 2013 if you want it)



What other f*cking aspects are their... you mean fitter? must have own transport & tools or fkn WHAT!!........  only 30 mins lunch.. no morning break or nothing no?

next up....
Own Initiative OR following a fkn Script?  ber in mind this one is listed by fkn Sefton @ Work


Cleaning Experience Preferred?... you all seen that one.. well an adult applying for a job simply should at-least be able to handle a hoover or a mop right?

the next one means.. THEY RING "ME" I QUOTE £600+  i then ring you and you get 6%
they also fail to mention IF you use your car for business purposes (driving to WORK is NOT the same as Using it to get to Varied Job Locations)  so you get fkd to for NO business insurance..


fuck you helen... they just got 6 points and also lost their car AND got a fine for NO insurance.... and £75 court costs...

This Vacancy Is being Advertised On Behalf of FK YOU.. AGENCY'S SUCK and are KILLING LIVERPOOL....

WTF IS THIS...
an understanding of.. is.. or.. when.. what.. where,, English welcome but not a required qualification then no?  




also quote "Transport Co-Ordinator" in the Subject box.. fine..
And the EMAIL ADDRESS IS?  IS?  IS?  wtf?  
How About YOU Co-Ordinate An @ Sign and some sh*t before and after it hey
and just MAYBE you'll get them emails...
And whats fkn this  "Ensure all veichle fleet is properly maintanted"
this a fkn secretary, hvg fitter and outright gobsh*te required or what?



This ones for a Looser with NO life or Friends or Family...



it either DOES or it DOESN'T...  so fkn organised u duno if you'll still be working at 9pm
So its a "Printers"  maybe working till 9, so someones been tryna get hold of someone with a list of names for an event, its took 3 hours to get the names from the venue, its took 2/3 hours to get hold of the boss at the printers, then the lads work like the clappers to get them printed.. Does this "Experience in Distribution"  really mean handing round them flyers they spend the day printing.. your suposed to feel lucky you have a part time job while you trapse round in the fkn rain and wind all because 3 people couldn't communicate faster.. so now ur under preasure working ur ass off.  I can only imagine being handed a £10 note and upon asking whats it for.. the bos says get change of 2 fivers & give the helpers 1 each as he points to a couple of guys who cant even read english.

are any of these people you trust your lively hood with.. your home.. your meals on the table.. your ability to sleep at night wondering if you'll be sacked tomorrow for not picking up someone's dry cleaning.. or taking their car the car wash, or picking up their lunch on YOUR dinner hour....
I say dinner hour.. It's actually 25 mins.. 19 by the time you get to drop what your doing...
After All....   Isn't that what  "ANY OTHER RELATED TASKS"   MEANS?

WTF is a Cleaning Operative...

Leaflet Distributor.. TW*T who throws a load of junk through your door...


here was a fkn classic "Temporary Front Of House Janitor"
that mean you man the desk and mop the floors and erm.. run a B&B or a fkn hotel or some sh*t : /
Hi heres your room.. sorry for the last visitors mess i shall fetch the maid... nips off to fkn change into a maids outfit : /

Wanted... Passionate... Confident.. Telesales
IE.. Pushy Obnoxious caller trying to force you on your own personal land line to buy something you DON'T fkn want....

Must have Proven track record and 2 good references.... why would then need a fkn job if they had that you thick fekrs

This is a self employed vacancy. This is a great opportunity to develop negotiation skills
IE... LEARN TO BULLY PEOPLE OVER THE PHONE

TRUST ME THEIR WILL BE MORE SOON!!!!!






3 comments:

  1. Puppets get a job or lose money - problem is the jobs on offer well done lar people need to see this reminds

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes these jobs any many like it can be yours for a one off phone call or email to a number or address not provided, and for a limited time only... many of these jobs come with no wages at all lmfao

      Delete
  2. WOW almost like Jasper Carrot Insurance Claims, but they have nothing on these considering they force us to apply for stuff that you can't. I have never thought to save the dud's i get, but i do get a lot of useless bits of paper

    ReplyDelete